Socially awkward

Don't people usually introduce themselves a little when they start a blog? Well, maybe they do. But I'd like to appreciate my anonymity. I am not courageous enough to find out if some familiar human beings could have read this and ended up talking about it behind me, good or bad. Well, PTSD is my middle name, y'know. I ain't letting the bananas grow twice. LOL

However, despite the so-called self-proclaimed anonymity, I would still like to share a little bit about myself. So if you dare ask me, "describe yourself in three words". Simple answer I would give you, I'm socially awkward. Now, say "explain yourself". Dang, that's the real challenge you give me there. 

I do believe that many of you lots are actually struggling with the same problem as mine. Beats me, I just want to believe in that. Should I detail everything? Nah, lets make it brief. Human isn't so nice so as to read the whole thing when I'm just no one in particular, what more with my anonymity priority or something. Sheesh, annoying little runt, I am. 

Well, let's just summarise my whole life in a few self-made conversations. To make it easier.

"Hey, did you know? Guy A, girl B and their little cliques are travelling to Turkey!"

...bla...bla...bla...

"Do you know anything, Maya?"

"Huh? What about it?"

"Turkey, Turkey!"

"Oh, I've never been there but I heard Istanbul is beautiful! I wish I can go there too."

"..........."

Yeah, that's one thing. Another is,

"Great, this is so fun! We should plan this again! Wouldn't next break be a great time for our little vacation trip?"

and...bla...bla...bla...

"Maya?"

"Yeah.. Hey, where's the moon and the stars tonight? The sky's so gloomy."

"..........."

Well, that's about it; Maya and her little world. Honestly, it was not like I wasn't listening. It's more like, I have my own little world, my head is somewhere only I know and my brain is not cooperating at all. The idea and the small talk just keep mixing up in my mind and before I realise, I just interjected in the wrong timing and with the wrong topic. 

There are too many similar incidents as of late, and my little clique had begun calling me, "Blurred Maya" or "Just Maya being Maya". I was embarrassed, but hey, even if it sounded awkward, I still thought it was a good trait, more or less. Because it's my character. I have my own character! Whew, it was such a relief. I always thought I was characterless. So this is fine. I'm fine being a blurred clueless human being. 

I'm fine being me. 

Because it's me and my little world. And it's you, reading and thinking, "how stupidly stupid she is".

Well, that's about it.